A Letter to Myself:

Hey Naeun,

Ever since you started a new middle school back in 2014 you've been going

through a pretty tough time. It seems like everyone you know at this new school is smarter than you, 20x prettier than you, and overall more talented than you. I know you've had minor depression when you started out into this strange world called middle school- and you're unfortunately still facing it today. You watched YT videos on how to destress, and how to love yourself but, you still couldn't figure out how to do both of these things. Your entire life at this moment is school and band. And unfortunately you felt like you suck at both those things. Everyone has their extra curriculars, and you've been holding back on what you love due to family/personal issues. Dance. You love dancing. But due to your body type at this time you feel like you can't dance at all since you're not as experienced as the other girls. And mom. Mom's your best friend, but due to certain things she's not. She isn't too old, but she always says she can't drive you to the dance studio you've been dying to go to cuz it's "too far" (which is only a 20 min drive) and she's tired from her daily life.  I understand it's tiring from all the cooking, cleaning, and helping dongsaeng with his studies. But, what about me? I can't do everything on my own despite being a teen. I need help in certain areas that mom is more than capable in aiding me in. But whenever she's on her period she completely shuts down-doesn't do anything. And when you have your period, you suck it up and carry on with life. And she says with being a foreigner she just "doesn't know the answer to certain things". And this really frustrates you. Maybe by the time you read this you understand mom better. But, don't you feel like mom kinda expects you to be like her? I tried explaining to her that life is waaaayyyy more competitive now. But, she can't understand cuz she's actually nothing like you. As a kid, I admit her life did seem pretty sad with her broken family- but, she's a freaking polyglot. She can speak 5 freaking languages- languages she's not willing to teach you becuz we live in USA. And she was gorgeous. LIKE THE ANNE HATHAWAY OF MALAYSIA. Mom was the ideal image of all the mixed Chinese-Indians out there. Currently, we are at the very bottom of the "prettiness scale" in our school. And mom had tons of boyfriends, admirers, etc. And she moved to Penang, a big city in comparison to her hometown. And got an amazing job there despite having no extra curriculars, a C+ grade average, and no college education. All due to the fact that she's pretty, has a good personality, and speaks 5 languages. Us on the other hand, currently have none of those things. And it's most likely we'll never be as lucky as mom was. And no matter how much I try to tell her that being a good student isn't enough in this century, she just doesn't understand. In the past years have you talked to her about it? Did u have that day when you finally worked up the courage to just talk to mom seriously about this stuff? I've been thinking about it recently- I wonder if it'll actually happen.

 

Fortunately, at this moment you still have a tiny grasp of your dreams and you're

trying to hold on for as long as possible. By high school you're aiming to be a Straight-A student, join at least one sort of sport (hopefully dance), learn French and/or Korean, continue playing the flute, and maybe even join another activity. hahaha. I don't know if it'll happen but like I said I have big dreams for us. XD And as for college you're striving to make it into an amazing college like, Cornell, UCLA, or some college in Seoul, China, or even Japan. But all this is extremely unlikely and dad is probably sending you to the state college or something.

 

Most importantly, I hope by the time you're reading this you're finally happy. Truly happy with your life and you're no longer stressed by you're body image, grades, family, or whatever. This was extremely hard for me to write, and I don't how you'll feel when you're finally reading this but, just now I wish all the best and I love you. Naeun-ah hwaiting!

                 with love,

                                   Naeun Lee    written on: 19/12/15

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Hey guys! Umm.. a bit of a weird blog post today. Just know I did not intend this to gain sympathy or anything I just wanted to write this letter to the future version of myself to vent out my emotions, and let her/me know that I still believe in us. I'm scheduling to re-upload this blog on my birthday in 2020,  just before I head off to college. So, if you're struggling with something in your life I would highly recommend writing a letter to yourself. It really allows you to vent out your emotions and realize how you've been feeling this entire time. Of course, I'll have to return to being the happy Naeun I always am- just know there'll probably be more blogs like this.

 





                

I Moved!

Hey guys! I have a new site! Plz follow this new blog from now on! >>>> Lotus Daze
Thanks love you!

New social media:
IG- @lotusdaze
VSCO- @lotusdazM

Spring Ulzzang Fashion ♡

Hey besties! How has your day been? ☼

Happy April you guys! I just wanted to do a quick post about some ulzzang trends I've been loving for the spring time!

Disclaimer: none of the pics are mine.😥 all creds go to original owners!



L E T' S  S T A R T

preppy & cute 

 black & white stripes with a pop of colour

pistachio pastels x lace = cutest combo!

smart chic : this outfit is quite casual but, still has an element of cuteness to it.

comfort is key! I'd totally wear this outfit for a day at the park or just to go shopping!

Instagram: simplyne19

YouTube: Naeun Lee

March Catch Up! + New Hair

Ello, ello besties! Hope March has treated you all well! :)

I'm super sorry I have been a bit lagging with my blogposts but, alas life gets in the way! I don't know about you all but, I'm only in Grade 8 right now and I've been super busy with high school preparation! I'm currently picking out the courses I want to take Freshmen Year- even though it's like 5 months away! Ughh, so stressful!


Oh, btw do you all remember the blogpost about me confessing to my crush? If not, you can see it here. Well, I guess I have to update you all on the outcome. Okay, being the typical girl I am- I kinda put off asking him out because, I just couldn't find the right time to! We only have one class together and we barely see each other at school. So, my friend Katie stepped in and asked him out for me. And the result is.........
                            He said no.

It was kinda expected. But, I'm still a bit confused since my friend I mentioned in the blogpost said he wanted to talk to me about it. I haven't talked to him about it yet, but when he and I talk about school related things we seem to be okay.

What else.... Oh yeah! As you may notice, I'm starting to go by Nana on this blog. I still go by Naeun but, surprisingly a lot of you guys can't pronounce Naeun! I figured Nana would be easier to pronounce!

Lastly, I got my hair cut! I went to this lovely local salon owned by a family friend and I got roughly around 6 inches lopped off! I wanted a kind of "Park Shinhye" hairstyle and since the stylist is Korean I decide to give it a go!

The Outcome:

Tadah! Srry for the terrible lighting! But, my hair is now shoulder length and I'm honestly so happy with my new hair!

Okay now for a few of my March favs!

Revlon Super Lustrous Lipgloss in Sky Pink:

Omgosh! I can't get enough of this lipgloss! It gives great shine, doesn't feel sticky at all, and the packaging/colour is super adorable!

Trader Joe's Macarons:
Ughhh! SO GOOD! DEF A MUST TRY! (my fav is the salted caramel flavor ;)


FAV UPBEAT SONG: MAMAMOO- You're the Best!


FAV SAD SONG: Red Velvet- One of these Nights

CURRENT DRAMA:

Someone Like You 聽見幸福 (Taiwan):
This drama is so good! Even though I'm on episode 4 I can't get enough of it! I loved Kingone Wang in a Devil Beside You so, I decided to give this drama ago! Plus, can we talk about how gorgeous Lorene Ren is?!?! She's a goddess!
btw I've been meaning to watch Fall in Love With Me- should I?

Okay dokie! That sums up my blogpost! I hope you guys enjoyed it and I'll write more soon! Love you!!!!!


P.S On my Instagram or my latest YouTube video comment "Baekhyun sent me here" to confuse the heck out of everyone who didn't read my blog post! XD

First Confession to My Crush

I know it's been awhile since I actually sat down and wrote about my real life on my blog. To be honest, not much is interesting! Despite everything online, I'm still human! My daily routine consists of going to school, meeting with friends, coming home, doing homework, eating dinner, sleep. repeat. That's basically it. It doesn't get a whole lot better than that..... Usually.

But, this time it's a tad bit different.

Middle School is when a lot of girls and guys start dating. And I'm pretty sure a lot of you guys can put the puzzle together but, this Sunday is D-Day. That's right Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is an extremely important day in your middle school life.

Kids finally work up the courage to ask out their crush, your best friends surprise you with cute treats, and cute couples roam the hallways looking lovey dovey. It's an awesome ambience to be in.

It's my third and final year of MS. And I felt like something special was suppose to happen. I mean the same V-Day routine went on for the past two years and as much as I appreciate the gifts my friends send- I wanted to do something new.

When I started my day, I didn't know what was going to happen. I mean, I had no idea what to expect. Okay, well I knew I was going to suck at gym and totally fail at playing basketball with my peers- But, other then that!

I received a batch of fresh baked goods from my kpop friend Erin at band, and she put a bunch of kpop memes on the front of the box. ex: "You S.Coup me up." XD

And at lunch we were selling friendship bracelets for student council. ( I know, very cheesy and sooo 5th grade- but it wasn't our choice! Our neighboring MS sold flowers -_-) Anyways, I bought like 10 to give to my closest friends and had leftovers just in case.

After lunch, I always go to the library instead of the gym for recess. The library is kind of like my safe haven. All the quiet, yet surprisingly fun and studious kids go there. And you can just chit chat and knock out a decent amount of homework or read if you wanted to. And the library is also where I see him most of the time.

He's quiet and appears to be cold, but with his friends he jokes around and smiles a lot. We met in 7th grade and we never really talked. This year he sat across from me in science for a little while. He teased me (didn't say mean things don't worry!) but, he smiled as he did it. So, that means he's at least comfortable with me.

I liked him on and off- but, not TOO MUCH. Does that make sense?

We don't talk often anymore and I don't have that "He's so gorgeous, I want him to love me" kind of feeling. But, my heart does skip a beat when I see him. :) I've been meaning to ask him out for awhile since, I wouldn't feel too disappointed if he said no. But, if he said yes I'd be overjoyed to have him as a first "boyfriend."

Yup, that's right I've never had a boyfriend. And, I think I know the reason. Although, a few of my close friends had boyfriends I didn't have one. It just wasn't time. I felt like I needed guy in my life in order to be happy with my life. In 7th grade, I had minor depression and I felt like if I had a boyfriend all my insecurities to go away. Now, I realize that's just stupid.

I've been slowly finding myself, and I honestly feel happy right now.

I had my first crush in preschool- Yup the bright age of four. And I liked the boy because, I felt happy whenever I was with him and genuinely wanted to be happy with him as great friends.

All my middle school life, I wanted a boyfriend for the wrong reasons.

I want to go back to four year old Naeun who liked people for the right reasons.

Now, I accept and like myself- so, now I can truly like someone else.

Okay, enough of my sobfest. I'll get back to the actual story.

So, in the library I hear he and his friends talking about giving their friendship bracelets to someone's girlfriend. I'm pretty sure they were joking but, it sparked my interest.

In language arts class, one of his and kind of my friend decided to do a love story contest while we had a fun Valentine's Day party. Friends brought in cookies, cupcakes and we wrote love stories in spirit of Valentine's Day. As we ate our teacher read the winning story. My/ his friend won. He wasn't there due to something idk but, his story kind of inspired me.

I decided I was going to confess. It was the last period of the day and I told my friend "Risa" I liked him.

I had never confessed before to any of my many, many crushes. I felt butterflies in my stomach, and I was excited too.

Remember that I bought like 10 friendship bracelets? I had one left, that matched with mine.

I knew he comes down the stairs exactly when I walk by. I was going to go give it to him. But then, he didn't come by. Worst case scenario.

I gave up and went back to band room. There I met one of his and my very good friend. We walked with each other. And I told her I liked him. She was at the table with him at the library- she must know if he has a gf!

I told her that I planned matching bracelets and I asked her the next time she saw him to give him the bracelet. I didn't know when to ask him out- so I trusted her.

She then asked, "Do you want me to tell him you like him?"

I casually said sure and walked to the bus. I got home and I'm currently writing this blog for you guys. I don't know what he's going to say. I'm hopeful he'll say yes but, I feel like he'll say no.

I'll tell you guys the outcome.

Below, I attached this cool article I got from Seventeen Magazine's August 2015 issue. Enjoy! ;)

Find Me:
Insta- simplyne19
YouTube- Naeun Lee

New Video! + Malaysian Tag Questions

Hey guys!

I've been a little bit busy the past few days but, I FINALLY managed to do the Malaysian Tag video!

It was quite requested so you can watch here.

I tweaked the original "Malaysian Tag" cuz it was just questions about Malaysian history and stuff and I don't really know much about Malaysian history. o_o So, I just made a new and improved version! :P  Most of the questions are based off of the Filipino tag I just adjusted it to be more for Malaysians.

So, if you want to do the tag you can just say I tagged you. :)


Here are the Questions:

1.) Are you full Malaysian? If not, state other ethnicities.
2.) Are you a rojak?
3.) When was the last time you went to Malaysia?
4.) Can you speak Bahasa Melayu? *forgot to mention any other languages
So umm... 4.5) Can you speak a language many Malaysians will understand?
5.) What is ur fav Malaysian food?
6.) Fav Malaysian song?
7.) Fav Malaysian TV show?
8.) What are some Malaysian stereotypes?
9.) What do you dislike about being Malaysian?
10.) What do you like about being Malaysian?

*feel free to add on questions or adjust to your liking :)

So, those were the questions! I hope you can check out my video + Like & Subscribe. And I should be back to regular blogposts SOON!

New Video! Lunar New Year Makeup Tutorial

Hey guys!

I had a little bit of spare time on my hands so I created two very simple looks that you can wear this Chinese New Year! I even included some Malay subtitles! I hope you gain some makeup inspo for the upcoming year. And maybe I'll do an outfit inspiration video next! 新年快乐!

 

Click here to watch now!